Why?

So I haven't posted in awhile.

There are so many things that I have to say, so i'll just write them down here. Maybe in time to come, when I read my archives, these posts will provide little glimpses of my life within specific periods.

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It's been a really hectic week. When I say that, I mean really. Like, really really hectic.

Chem CCT on monday, Physics CCT on tuesday. Chinese EOY and Bio CCT on week 8. 2 showcase portfolios on week 8 (in case you were wondering, RI is the only IP school which needs showcase portfolios as a prerequisite for JC admission). ELbkclub on week 9, Geog Assg on week 10, German mid-year test on week 10.

A wake-up slap in the form of the JC course options briefing. Life in RJC seems so far away, yet so near. Another 8 months or so. Another tiring, uninspiring, long 8 months. How much more do I have to face?

I've been studying the whole day. Now i'm tired, sweaty, overloaded, and sickly. I can barely open my eyes. And when I ask myself the question why I am studying so hard, I don't know the answer.

Okay, maybe good grades will result in a better job in the future, which improves the material quality of life. I don't need a better life. I want to do something which makes me satisfied. I want to help someone. I want to be involved. I don't need grades.

The irony is that I tirelessly return to scribbling down notes for the upcoming chem CCT. Brilliant.

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In the face of such adversity, I turn to music and tennis. I really love tennis. Honestly. I can't wait for my next lesson on thursday. And I seriously need to learn how to play the guitar. Composing is next on the list. Maybe when I grow up i'll set up a band with my friends. Moses can be the guitar player, kenneth will be the drummer, mattan will be the lead, and i'll play the piano and be the backup vocals.

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New picture for the title head. That's a photo that I took of the dying sunset at the cemetary when I went for 清明 last month.