Apathy?

I wanted to go watch orientation highlights today since the timeslot for my break coincided with that of highlights.  But I didn't.

I really wanted to be an OGL. Like really, really, really.

I wanted to see the new batch of J1s - the people who will fill our slots in a year - have fun under my charge before facing a tumultuous year in RJ.  I wanted to share my experiences with them, to guide them like my OGLs had guided me before, thereby doing my part as a Rafflesian to give back what I owe to Raffles.  Admittedly, I was apathetic in Sec4. I had the ability to contribute to the Sec1 orientation as a PSL, but I didn't participate.

Imbued with a new maturity last year, I applied to be an OGL. To no avail. "He's in a world of his own" - that's what they said.  Well, I suppose council felt that there were better candidates.  I accept their decision. Yet -

I can't help but feeling a sense of loss when I browse through photos of orientation on facebook - "G'alvea - Day 3", or "BW06 <3", they proudly proclaim - or pass by throngs of enthusiastic J1s looking forward to a life in RJ.  This feeling stems from knowing that you've lost an opportunity to get to know the next batch better, and knowing that you will leave little to nothing behind once you've completed an education in Raffles.

That's why, I suppose, I didn't go to watch highlights today - so that I wouldn't have to be reminded by the fact that I won't be playing a part in orientation this year.  But, I sincerely hope that all OGLs will treasure the chance they have been given, and make orientation and RJ life a wonderful time for the J1s.

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I've sort of come to a reconciliation (call it a conclusion if you will) about the stuff i've been thinking about for the past few days.  I suppose it was inevitable that we would drift apart eventually. Our circumstances are just so different. But I thank you for being my friend for the past few years.

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School has been really really busy.  But what's new?  Lectures are going faster than ever, commitments to extra-curricular activities have become heavier, and the workload has doubled.  Truth to be told, I would rather be busy than be absolutely free, though.  At least I go to bed satisfied.

Being busy makes living life, to a certain extent, worthwhile.